August, 2024
Sun-kissed and Confident.
A few years ago, someone close to me asked, “Aren’t you too old to be wearing a bikini?”
I shut that down with a resounding, NO!
For me to be this body confident in my 50’s – like I was not in my teens, 20’s, 30’s and most of my 40’s – is a colossal win.
I think I was 14 when I first felt real body shame. My mom had just bought me a pair of coveted Jordache jeans and I couldn’t wait to wear them to school. I wasn’t in them on campus more than half a day before a friend said to me, “Those jeans make your hips look big.” It was a deflating remark that triggered years of body dysmorphia. For most of my life after that – no matter how thin I got – what I saw in the mirror were big hips, jiggly thighs, and so on and so on.
Later, when I was 21 years old and teaching aerobics, I landed a gig as an extra in Oliver Stone’s The Doors movie. After one 10-hour day, in a full go-go dancer costume and makeup, and earning $100 for it, I said to heck with this and didn’t go back.
A few weeks later, though, I received a call from the casting office saying my headshot was among those Oliver Stone handpicked for a specific beach scene.
Exciting, right?
But here’s the caveat: I would have to wear a bikini.
I couldn’t say no fast enough!
In my head, I was simply too fat to wear a bikini anywhere, much less in a movie.
Who knows where that would’ve gone had I felt better about myself and said yes.
What I do know is that I’ve worked hard the last few years, to build my body-confidence.
I’ve worked hard to maintain a healthy mind-body connection.
And I’ve worked too hard to let anyone tell me I’m too old to wear a bikini!
Because in the empowering words of this Demi Lovato anthem, “What’s wrong with being confident?”
